Why negotiating with the BigU does not work
I really wanted to share this as I talk all the time about intuition all the time, and that the BigU, my intuitive voice is constantly talking to me, I need to be clear that it doesn’t mean I always listen or that I always agree. I am quite a feisty, strong willed person, much like my daughter. Kalma. So I have to be clear, although the BigU talks to me all the time, although my intuition is constantly on, it doesn’t mean every single time I do what it tells me to do. In fact, it’s much easier for me to do some of the bigger, more concrete things the BigU tells me to do, no matter how scary they are, then lit is to do long term projects.
When it came to my psychology degree, that the BigU has been telling me to do for over 20 years now, I have been extremely reluctant and extremely stubborn and I’ve started it now three times and quit it three times. So the BigU has been very clear, very persistent. And every time I’ve landed on my bum, it’s landed me at the base of the, “well, you should really do a psychology degree” mountain.
When my relationship fell apart and I sold my house, it landed me at the same mountain foot saying, please do your psychology degree. So I started it and I sold my house. I did it. I really, I got on top of it. And then I had a huge fear that it was too big, too scary I think. I said “there’s an easier way to do this BigU, it was time for a chat.
My daughter was about to have a fourth birthday. It was July. And I went no BigU, I think, look, I think we need to sit down and just go into negotiations here. I will do a degree in counselling at the end of a degree in counselling. I can become a counsellor. It’s cheaper, it’s a cheaper degree. It takes just the 12 months I come out with a qualification, I come out with the ability to start working. This is really, this is the much better idea. BigU, I understand you’ve constantly, for the past 20 odd years, been talking about this degree in psychology, but you have to remember BigU, I’m a girl who came from a family who’s Dad got to grade six a mum got to grade 10. No one’s been to uni in my family. I’ve been to uni. I’m now doing another degree. Woo yay me! But psychology, I don’t know any psychologists. I don’t know anyone. And you know, I just spoke about my biz buddy Emily, who is an organizational psychologist who the BigU sat me directly across from at a business morning tea.
So that all started to unravel really quickly. And Iwas certain it was a pretty solid plan a much cheaper degree, more secure qualifications and knowing exactly where I’m going. I dropped out of the degree in psychology last July and I, rang the Uni and I said, “Look, that’s it. I’m out”. They wrote to me and said, yes, you’re out. If you want to get back in, you’re going to have to reapply, we cannot guarantee your spot so if you want to come back you will need to reapply. And I’m like, okay, that’s okay. I’ve got this counselling thing. It’s all good. I’ve got it all sorted.
Then I started to get, just deeply sad, it was a sadness I’ve never, ever experienced before. It was a real grief, a real loss, and a real feeling like I had lost everything and I could not understand why. The end of my relationship wasn’t that grief stricken and Kate’s got a good relationship with her dad now. So all of that was well and truly in the past.
I had sold my house of 17 years, that was a bit sad, but it really felt like it was time to move one. And I’m like, where is this grief coming from? What is going on BigU? And so I went and had an EFT session with my EFT therapist and we tapped everything and I’m like, no, there’s something the BigU is trying to tell me still.
I went and saw the beautiful Tony Martin from angel teachings and she’s the person I go to if I’m not getting from my intuition, what I know the BigU is trying to tell me. And I went and saw her and the study card came up again and I went, “Oh yeah, I’m doing this study, I’m doing the counselling degree.” And she went to me, no you’re not going to finish that degree. And I’m like, Oh, Oh well, doesn’t matter. I’ll just go wherever it takes me. If I don’t finish it all away, you know, give me credit to other counselling qualification.
It’s interesting cause the BigU tries and struggles with me sometimes too to let me know things. And that was a really clear indicator cause I, I never doubt Toni’s intuition at all. I never doubt what she’s telling me. I know what she’s telling me is very factual. So it was funny that this study card came up, but the counseling was a no.
I go back to the BigU and say I am I’m still suffering from this sadness. And the sadness would go on for six hours if I ever really get really deeply sad it normally lasts for a couple of hours and all of a sudden I get sort of swung out of it and there’s something that pops up and I go, “I just am so lucky”. And so it would take six hours and I’m like, this is so not like me. And then I had this voice and it just says, please do the psychology degree.
Now the BigU, every time I talk about how it sounds, it’s always calm. It’s always clear. It’s always kind. And it is always those three things. And this is the first time I’ve actually heard that it really required me to do something. Normally it’s like,” Oh yeah, do it or don’t, it’s all up to you”. This was really, please do this, please do this degree. And I’m like, Oh, that feels like you’re really serious about this.
All right. So I go back to my old university where I was doing the psychology degree and ask “What do I need to do to start this up again? Just let me know. I’ll do whatever it takes. I’ll start it up again.” And the beautiful young lady on the end of the line said “I don’t know what’s happened here. You did call us and you did tell us you want to drop out of it and we did email you and we did say you’ve dropped out of it, but your course was never cancelled. You’re still current as a student here.” She then said “I don’t know why? I’ve never seen this before.” I said “Don’t worry. Don’t worry. It’s all good. I know why.” Okay. So sometimes even when you try and get out of things, you can’t get out of it.
And so somehow magically, I was still part of my course that I had dropped out of and they had told me I’d dropped out of it. It seems the BigU is really insistent that I do this and I do this now. Now doing a psychology degree does not mean you come out of it as a psychologist. There is most study after that and another year of study after that and then there was another year of study after that and then after those two years of study, you might become a psychologist. Okay. Everyone with me, so very, very different story, very much more expensive story than the story I was telling, the BigU that I wanted to do with the counseling. I understand how it wants me to support women and empower women to engage in their own power and to engage in their own intuition and to really step forward.
It was clear that during this psychology degree, I am not going any further. As soon as I dropped out of the psychology degree, all my business stuff started to dry up and I’m like, why? I’ve got time now, bring it on. No, everything stopped. Now that I am going back to the psychology everything’s opening up again. It’s very, very interesting.
So my negotiations with the BigU completely failed. Do not follow me to find out how to negotiate with the BigU on doing what you want to do over what the BigU wants you to do. Because I will not be your teacher in that subject. “Do what the BigU says, no matter what”. I’m excellent at that subject.
Where’s this going to take me? I don’t know. You’re along for the way he got into venture. Okay. We will see where I end up here. We will see what’s going to happen. We’ll see what was the BigU wants and why is it so adamant that I need to do this and the only way I’m going to find out why it needs me to do it, is to do it. it’s very clear that I need to go forward with it. It’s very clear I need to do it and it should be interesting. We’ll go with interesting cause that’s all I’ve got at the moment.
So yes, someone who’s come from a family who’s never had any university education is trying to get her second degree and needs that second degree to go through to her PhD to be able to become a psychologist. Let’s do it. Let’s see what happens. I do know that whenever I am studying, my daughter goes, “Mummy, I need quiet time.
I have to study.” So I know I’m being a very strong influence on her too. And now she’s at school and we’re both going to school together, she is very happy. It’s all very good that we’re both going to school together.
It wasn’t pretty the BigU really stripped to me right down so I could hear what it was trying to tell me. I really don’t want to do this last three months of 2019 ever again. I will keep listening. I told the BigU I’d do whatever it told me and on everything else, “sell your house, quit the job, now you’re pregnant just drink green juice for the day. I have always done what it has thrown at me. Always. Except for this psychology degree. I have 18 more months left. Let’s see what happens. At the end. They say take months cause it’s really adamant I have to do a psychology degree.
Okay, so I’ll see you all soon. I’ll keep you updated. I’ll let you know where everything’s going and if you haven’t seen it, we’ve still got the workshop because I can guarantee you the journey that is for you and your money to work through together is not one that you’re going to necessarily have read in a book or is one that can be shoulded on you in the right way. Shoulding does not work in this situation. All right, so I’ll see you soon. If I don’t see you at the workshop, it’ll be on another one of these videos where I promise you the audio will work. I’ll speak to you later. Bye.